Breaking the law…

Stolen Order Pho­toshoot in Invergordon

Well, there’s a story to go with this shot, so I’ll tell it. Some­thing else for the blog while I’ve got a bit of a gig drought…

I was asked to do a pho­toshoot a while ago for Stolen Order, a mate’s band, but it’s only fairly recently we found the time on both sides to do one. I was leav­ing my pre­vi­ous job, and had two days off before start­ing my new one (if you think I’m a work­aholic, believe me I’m not — I just like money), and they also happened to be meet­ing to prac­tice that even­ing. The plan was for every­one to meet for the prac­tice (didn’t hap­pen), then head straight to the guitarist’s house in the town of Milton for a bit of banter, Gui­tar Hero and boozing.

A little advice. In Milton, cam­ou­flage is required for safe pas­sage. You’re best bet is a Kappa track­suit. Yes, it’s like that.

The sight of my bud­dies in cow­boy boots, bandan­nas, long (facial) hair and big sunglasses didn’t exactly endear us to the local popu­lace. One of the boys (he’d have been in is mid-teens) offered to fight me there and then (I declined, cit­ing the fact I couldn’t really be bothered) and then fol­lowed us right the way back to the house. Thank­fully, not much else happened after that, other than us all stay­ing up to 2am get­ting very drunk and play­ing Gui­tar Hero all night.

The next after­noon wasn’t too event­ful to start with either. We went to the ferry cross­ing to Nigg, got a few shots there, none of which were par­tic­u­larly good really. I was get­ting very bored, very quickly and I was fast run­ning out of ideas for them, which was when the bassist had a ‘good’ idea and asked us to fol­low him in the car. Now, he was the one that took his time doing everything, and was the reason we were run­ning late, and I believe the reason the prac­tice got can­celled (he didn’t show) so I wasn’t exactly look­ing for­ward to this, and the little tour of Inver­gor­don we were treated to didn’t help my expect­a­tions. But when we pulled up to this ware­house… oh yes, all was most cer­tainly forgiven.

It was ideal. The light­ing looked really good through all the broken win­dows, and it fit the band’s mood per­fectly. I was much more enthu­si­astic, and so were the band — this was where the best pics were going to be taken. In fact, I think the one above this was about the best of the lot, and it wasn’t long after that the police showed up.

Shit.

“Just doing a pho­toshoot for a local band, mate” was the reply to a slightly bemused police con­stable. He and the WPC with him were called out by a neigh­bour who’d seen us break in to this ware­house through a gap in the fence, per­haps think­ing we were going to be van­dal­ising it more than it already was, or start­ing a crys­tal meth pro­duc­tion facil­ity, or run­ning some kind of illegal sweat shop mak­ing fake Kappa track­ies for the loc­als or some­thing. It’d clearly been aban­doned for a long time but I’d no doubt the dis­til­lery still owned the build­ings. When we were asked if we had per­mis­sion I was sure we were going to be ejec­ted immediately.

But, we weren’t. The male officer just told us to keep the noise down, leav­ing us with the words “I wasn’t expect­ing this when I got the call out”. After all the stuff in the press with photographer’s get­ting stopped by police for simply tak­ing pho­to­graphs in pub­lic, which by-the-way is a per­fectly legal activ­ity, I was sure we’d have been charged with tres­pass or some­thing — all this time I was think­ing about the new job I was start­ing just the next day, and how I would have so totally screwed it all up if I’d been arrested.

I didn’t get their names. I wish I did now, because they were the best officers I’ve ever met.

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